The glam side to peeing in a cup is doing it beside a scented candle you saved for such a special occasion.
In the spirit of being a stereotype, I admit to being fascinated by influencers and buying things they’re affiliated with. Not useless things like cushions with Louis Theroux’s face on so I can finally sit on his face. Or Dita von Teese’s nipple clamps.
Practical bits to bust the traps on the path to self fulfillment. Like… lipstick.
Try not to think about it:
When I was 19, my ex-boyfriend hit me in the face with a door in a hostel room in Cork which cost me a third of my left-front incisor.
When I was 11, I had to get my lower adult molars out because they had abscessed and I couldn’t sleep any more.
When I was 23, I went on my first holiday in Prague with my now boyfriend and had to get an emergency extraction which led to a secondary infection and us spending over half of our time there in the hostel room not knowing how to turn on the air conditioner.
Generally, I’m more delighted by the opportunity to try a little bit of a variety of products rather than spending a small fortune on a full-sized product. Inevitably, I’ll end up getting sick of how it suits me before I finish the product.
In that spirit of insatiable consumerism and, of course, Christmas, I’ve been lusting over gift sets.
The lobes in the brain that control sexual arousal and make up visual processing in me are practically conjoined.
In any case, let’s get into the sexiest of them all: Continue reading
Holland is so point. Just ask Nikkie:
Last year, they were among the first nations in Europe to ban microbeads.
But why would you ban microbeads? What are microbeads other than tiny, presumably cute spheres? WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!
Well, before we get ahead of ourselves and capitalize what we don’t mean, here’s a quick background check I’ve done on microbeads.
What are microbeads?
Ireland personified is off-putting.
It’s a pint-swinging, post-communal wine drinking, vowel-swallowing, toothless legend.
Stereotypes are based in a skewed reality, so here’s an example. In a new series, I’ll be compiling some looks for you based on European cultures and their styles as viewed through a judgmental, often distant, but appreciative lens. Continue reading
As a child raised by the BBC, Ireland is still under the UK’s thumb. When it comes to online retail that serves Ireland, they have the Union Jack on top of that mountain at least.
That’s a monopoly, but Asos is yet more of a monolith. However, when you’ve spent the last week and a half in bed with cystitis (more on that to follow in another, obviously sexy, post) you’ve exhausted its resources. To broaden the movement-less shopping horizon, here are 7 sites like Asos that charge in Euro (and GBP. And AUD. And Hungarian Florint. Maybe.) Continue reading
False economy can be your friend. Sometimes you don’t have the extra quid to spend on a quality increase, even if it is substantial.
I’ve been there, so herein I’ve assembled a full face of the cheapest make up possible. If it blinds us, it blinds us.
L.A. Colors Liquid Make Up – €1.35
I mean, it probably doesn’t have the coverage of a veil made of cling film on a windy wedding day, but it exists.
Apologies for every stock I choose being so fair. I will enter a raffle to rename my shade colour “unded” as penance.
If pigment comes from this, I will use it to paint the walls of my over-priced rental accommodation.
NYC Smooth Skin Primer – €4.08
Smooth me out like one of your political crises (I couldn’t think of anything quite as clever for this one)
Well, pluck me.
Kiko All Stars Face Palette – €4.40 (on sale)
I don’t quite know why the packaging on this looks like a knock-off American football jersey, but here we are.
Kiko Liquid Intense Eyeliner – €3.40
The yet cheapest way to give curtains to the windows of your soul.
City Color Classic Mascara – €1.80
This is where I’m suspicious that the blinding will start.
L’Oreal Paris Pressed Eyeshadow Quad – €0.90 (on sale)
Christian Siriano is lasting in his field and so can your crease definition. (Ooof, tenuous there)
Wet ‘n’ Wild Silk Lipstick – €0.90
Full face price: €23.92
Prices are correct as of 7th of November, 2016. If I’ve missed a step, let me know in the comments below. Or, if you’ve tried any of the above products, let me know how you get on and if you can see.
You have opinions.
You like different things to me. You dislike different things to me. You may even dislike me. Rude.
In any case, when getting started on social media or any app that requires following/liking/hearting/verbing something, it’s hard to know where to start. Continue reading
In the world of eye primers and pigments, it’s as easy to get lost as a toddler who’s taken acid after licking the Hypno Toad and downing 6 cans of Fanta.
But, while you’re under the rainbow, you might hit a crock of gold. Continue reading